expectations are rarely met

I'm not really sure why I bother expecting anything, because life almost never cooperates.
My plan for the summer was
a) do nothing for awhile after my first "official" year of college
b) clean out my room
c) try to find some low key babysitting jobs or something
d) see people like Sarah that I haven't seen in forever because we finally both have time

But instead, I come home to endless questions about what I will be occupying my time with.
So I get a job (supposedly a positive thing) as a nanny for a 7 year old boy and a 14 year old girl. I'm there every other week, 8-10 hours a day. And let me tell you, after a week of being there the only things I'm positive about is that I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I adore kids more than most people out there, I work so hard at being patient and fun and engaging, kids tend to like me.
This is one job that is driving me up a wall.
At least it's something, right?

On another note, I got the room cleaning out done. Woohoo.
I've also done enough sitting around for my liking.
And I've spent quality time with my family and haven't gone completely insane from being home yet.

The only thing left to do is see Sarah, and she comes in a week and a half!

Although I did have a 4 hour skype session with her the other day... Haha. 

Here's what else I've been up to...

This wonderful girl came to see me. 

:)

Father's Day in Portland!

I have some other pictures in various places, but that's basically it. 

OH! Except this little project I've undertaken for my wonderful grandparents. 

It involves looking through some really great old pictures. 

My parents when the graduated from WWU. 

It was weird to look at this and realize I knew where they were standing, haha. 

My first day of kindergarten. 

Abby in preschool :)

Maddie in preschool!

Here's where the really great photos are. 

My grandparents 50 years ago, when they got married. 

They were so cute!

I love looking at all these photos.

My dad and his 2 older sisters. 

So adorable. 

Tell me you don't love old photos and I'll look at you like you're crazy. 

I miss Bellingham. 

I miss my job there, those kids are wonderful. 

I miss Theresa and Paulina and the other random people who would brighten up my day. 

I even miss the people I saw all too often but didn't actually know with titles like "creeper psych guy" "green pants guy" and "nice skin guy". 

I'm excited to go back in August. 

That's all.

growing up

I know I said I'd post pictures from the last couple weeks and whatnot in my last post, but I changed my mind. A friend of mine started a post on all that she is thankful for, and it got me thinking. Throughout my first year away from home, I've realized a lot about myself and my life that I hadn't been able to acknowledge before because I'd never distanced myself from how I grew up. If you know me, you know that I have a lot to be thankful for- a nice house, a car, good friends and an amazing family, etc. etc. Some have even called me a little spoiled. And until I took myself out of that comfortable situation and found myself in an entirely new world with very few familiar faces, I couldn't see any of that fully. Now I see what people mean when they say college makes you grow up.

Upon reflecting on the past year, here's what I've come up with to be thankful for:

Family: I know this is so cliche, but I really have come to see how amazing my family is. I thought seeing them every couple months would be no big deal, but I was surprised to figure out how much I miss them. When I go home, I feel like I've missed out on so much every time, even though it's just daily life. On the bright side, it gives us things to talk about. But it is so weird not being there all the time and just knowing what's happening in everyone's life. Before college, I never would've said I'm SUPER close to my family. Now I feel like I'm a lot closer than a thought. Or maybe absence just makes the heart grow fonder ;)

I'm oh-so-grateful for these two wonderful people right here. Not only did they raise me right, they've seen my at my worst and still love me. I can't ever thank them enough for how they have shaped me as a person, guiding me towards incorporating all the right values into my everyday life. I know I haven't always appreciated them, but I realize now that everything they do is out of love for me (cheesy, I know, but I believe it). 

These crazy kids are tough not to miss. They may frustrate me to no end, but I will always love 'em :) Every time I go home, I'm amazed at how much they're growing as people (and just growing.... Abby is about as tall as me, to her ultimate delight, and Maddie is tall-er at least). In a way it makes me sad because I feel like I'm missing a big part of their life. They're almost like 'my' kids because of the age differences, so it's hard to miss out on so much of just daily life. It's a good thing I'll get my fill of them over the summer :P

Friends: 

All the new people I've met this year (regardless of whether or not the friendships lasted) have made a big impact on my life at Western. They have also made me think about friendship and what it means to me. I've realized that it doesn't matter how many friends I have if they aren't real friends. I want to surround myself with those I care about, and those that care about me. So while my friend group has shifted multiple times throughout the year, I've learned a lot about people and how much the golden rule applies to life. I hope those I've really connected with will still be around to talk to next year.

This girl right here ^ could be in her own category entirely. Sarah Elizabeth Adams is, and has been since 9th grade, my best friend. She has been there through everything and basically my family. I love and appreciate her more than I could ever express, and I miss her like crazy because of how infrequently I get to see her. I'm so proud of all she has accomplished this year with her photography and everything else. <3

Niles, as I'm sure most people who read this know, is my boyfriend. The story of how we met is long and complicated and involves a lot of backstory, but I'm definitely glad it happened. I don't want to get all gross and girly on everyone, so I won't go on too long here... He is pretty funny (although I try not to let him know that, so hopefully he doesn't read this...), he makes me challenge my thinking, he actually wants to hear me complain about everything, he's sweet. Overall, he is a really great guy and I appreciate his existence immensely. 

Food: 

On the rare occasion that I don't have to eat dining hall food, I appreciate it so much. :)

The Simple Things: 

Reading for fun has been eliminated from my schedule almost entirely with my busy schedule. I miss getting sucked into a good book. I'm taking advantage of my free time this summer, definitely.

Ice cream has saved me multiple times. It has memories attached to it, it reminds me of home, it tastes good, it keeps me awake. Who cares if it's good for you? I miss having real ice cream readily available. All they have here is soft serve!

Coloring. I spend less and less time with kids, and I miss coloring. Enough said.

Setting sun, swing set, family. Simple moments like this that make such great memories.

My bed. The only place that has been MINE this whole year. 

Margins in notebooks for doodles. How else would I survive class? 

The occasional rainbow on days I need it most. 

Children:

I know not everyone understands my adoration of children. I've tried to explain, but my attempts have failed. All you need to know is that kids can always put a smile on my face, and they continue to inspire me. They're the reason I want to do what I want to do with my life, and as long as I can see the potential in them I will be happy. 

Coffee: 

Caffeine. Chocolate. Sugar. 

Keeps me awake for studying.

My Laptop:

This thing has been my lifeline this year. I do everything on it- homework, facebook, blog, music, pictures, movies, TV shows, games. 

New Perspectives: 

I've learned a lot about my own prejudices (that I don't like admitting I have) and beliefs this year, but also a lot about other people's POVs (points of view). Especially being somewhere like Bellingham, I've learned so much by just opening my eyes and observing what goes on around me. This is the point in my life where I'm taking what my parents have taught me and what I've learned from outside sources and meshing it all together into what my own values are and should be. 

What Lies Ahead:

It's crazy growing up and redefining myself, but I have to realize that the adventure is just beginning. Everything I've learned this year is just a tiny drop in the ocean of knowledge out there I haven't even begun to experience. I don't know what lies ahead, but I'm along for the ride wherever it takes me. 

I know this was long, but maybe you learned something about me. I know I've learned a lot about myself this year, and so much about what I have to be thankful for. Including everyone reading this. 

That's all for now. 

<3

done

After a really insane quarter, I made it to the end of my first year at Western. There were some overwhelming moments (especially in the last couple weeks) when I thought the end would never come, but I have officially completed all coursework and tests- thank you, early finals!

Even though I spent the majority of it complaining, I got a lot out of this quarter. I took an intro to teaching class that placed me in a first-grade classroom once a week in addition to the instruction on campus. Practically drowning in assignments, I didn't realize the value of everything I ended up doing until yesterday. I had to plan and teach various lessons, test students to see if they were at grade-level, learn and apply behavior and classroom management skills, construct a bond with a class, relate every detail of what I observed and participated in to articles I was reading about education and teaching and state standards and lesson-planning..... (I tried making a list of everything I had to do in one week for this class, and it was so overwhelmingly long that I gave up). All of this was supposed to happen in 8 days of being with these students. Somehow it was all accomplished, although I'm still figuring that one out... haha.

So yesterday was my last day in the class with the kids, and my heart was broken by 26 first graders asking me not to go (I keep hearing that I'm good with kids, so I'm hoping this is true and all of you aren't just lying to be nice!). That ,paired with the feedback I got from my CT (cooperating teacher, the one I was observing), reassured me that this is what I want to be doing with my life. Kids are at time disgusting, annoying, frustrating, loud, needy... They're unpredictable and insane, I'll be the first to admit. Something about them is inspiring and intriguing though. They have to trust those around them to guide them down the right path, they have so much potential, they're creative and silly and fun to be around. They have the biggest imaginations and can create whole new worlds to play in. Tell me that's not incredible! 

Anyway, moving on..... It's weird to think my "first" year at college is over. I'm definitely ready for a break though. Fingers crossed the sun and warm weather comes back soon. 

I'll update again soon with some pictures of the process of packing up my dorm room and whatnot. I've also been experimenting with a new photo editing program, so I'll post some of the outcomes. I'm just too lazy to find all the correct files at the moment. 

<3